The Legion, otherwise known as Keeping the voices at bay....

02:22

So in the last few days I've bought two books. Okay so that isn't that surprising when we're talking about me. But the surprising thing is that I started reading one of them, which I bought on the third, the night I bought it...and I'm only halfway through it. Five days people. Five.

No the book isn't the size of a football stadium. It's actually only 280 pages. And no, each page does not contain 5,000 words. It's a normal sized book. Douglas Adams' The Salmon of Doubt. Which is the whole reason I'm just halfway through it. His are the few books that I actually read at a normal speed. You know, like everybody else. Or at least, as close to them as possible for me.

Part of the reason I go through his books so slowly is I end up reading excerpts to anyone and everyone who'll listen. Yup, I'm one of those. I just can't help it with him.

So, I stole this out of his new book. The questions, that is. The answers, in italics, are mine. The questions however are from an interview DNA did with virgin.net back in 1999.

What's your best childhood holiday memory? [holiday in this instance means vacation]
I guess it would be the summer I was 8. We went to visit my grandparents and older brother in Maine. It was the last time I remember my grandmother before she fell ill with Lou Gehrig's Disease. We spent two weeks there. My grandmother was pleasant for most of our stay. My brother let me tag along after him without any complaints, and my grandfather baked these incredible apple pies using the apples off our two trees in the back yard. It was also the summer that he took my brother and me to work with him. So many of my best childhood memories happened on that trip. Almost like we were storing them up for the following years when my grandmother got ill, then when she died.
Have you been back there since you were a child?
The last time I was there was when I was 11. I've kept in touch through letters and phone calls as best I could, but it just wasn't the same.
Where did you go the first time you went on holiday without your parents?
Six Flags, New Jersey. I was 17 and I went with my best friend Julie and her family. We stayed with her aunt and uncle who lived nearby.
Have you been back there since?
No. Though I wouldn't mind. We had a lot of fun there.
Where is the most remote or bizarre place you have ended up?
Without a doubt, no hesitation what-so-ever...here. We are both remote and bizarre. Our city is small, with not a lot to do, because of it's location on the ass end of Canada. Not only that, but the people here are pretty strange. I mean it's saying a lot when you live in a city that has a drive-thru liquor store but no drive-thru ATM's. At least we got a good beer up here in Alexander Keith's.
What's your favorite city? What fascinates you most about it?
Now this is hard. I have a lot of favorite cities. Toronto is by far my favorite Canadian city. The people are friendly. You can find just about anything you're looking for there. Plus it looks absolutely incredible at night when the skyline is all lit up. In the states, I'd have to say Boston, even though I am a NewYorker. Boston has to be the most fun city I have ever been to. You can walk around the city all day long and only feel like you've gone a couple of blocks. And all because there's something to stop and look at every few blocks. Plus the history of Boston is incredible. I love going through the older sections, or visiting the sites on the historical sites list.
When was the last time you hitchhiked?
Sometime in college. A friend and I were dying to go to a concert in Albany but had no money and no ride. So we threw a few things into packs and started hitching. It was quite an unusual trip. We ended up getting three rides total. But by the time we got to Albany, we kind of forgot about the concert in favor of hanging out with the guys who drove us the last leg of the trip.
What do you consider the most interesting man-made structure in the galaxy?
The statues on Easter Island. They're so mysterious.
Have you ever been there?
Unfortunately no. I think that would be one of the things I would do if I ever came into a lot of money.
And the most interesting natural structure?
Definitely this. It's one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.
If you could go anywhere in the universe right now, where would you go, how would you get there, and who and what would you take with you?
I don't think I could pick just one place. If I had the means to travel anywhere in the universe, I'd go exploring. I'm far too curious about things to stay in one place for long. I don't think I'd invite many people to accompany me, crowds make me nervous. But I would be sure to have internet on board my transportation so I can keep in touch with anyone who didn't come with me. As for what I'd take, well seeing as the universe is such a big place, I'd have to take everything I owned.

Guess what, there's more to come from Salmon of Doubt. After all, I am only halfway through it.