The Legion, otherwise known as Keeping the voices at bay....

20:29

Note:This entry brought to you by hsing-mom who, in a really round about way, brought to my attention how much I neglect this diary. Thanks hsing-mom.

So, I'm feeling a little better. I had myself quite a good, long cry last night. And though it didn't seem to help much at the time I felt immensely better when I got up this morning.

Of course, I didn't post the situation here last night. Too many people in RL know this diary and I didn't want anyone's feelings hurt, instead it got locked away in my LJ. But to make a long story short I finally broke down about everything going on lately. Lisa and the baby shower, housing issues, family problems. The whole nine yards.

I'm still feeling a little down about everything. It'll take more than a good cry to fix that. But it did release all the tension that's been building up. I've had so much to worry about these last few weeks and some of my friends have, inadvertently, added to that. Add to that the realization that I'm a bit of a doormat when it comes to said friends, and you get the picture.

My last appointment didn't help because my doctor used the B word, breach. He's not worried yet though, so I guess I shouldn't be either. After all, I still have four weeks, well, three now. At the worst it means a C-section instead of a normal delivery.

The main problem, as usual, is that I worry about everything. I tend to heap worry on myself like a blanket. I can't seem to stop myself from burrowing in it. The same way I can't seem to stop myself from laying down and letting my friends walk all over me. I really need to work on that.

Other than the craziness, things have been okay. Junior bought a new vehicle. FInally. No more bucket of bolts. Now we have a new 2002 Alero. It's a beauty. And at least I won't have to worry about breaking down on the way to the hospital when I go into labor. I was starting to think, that with my luck, that is exactly what would happen. One less worry. And after sunday I'll have another worry out of the way, the shower. Even if sunday is a disaster like I think it will be.

My step-sister has been a big help, if a little enthusiastic. I get almost daily emails from her about labor and the last few weeks of pregnancy. She's always giving me tips to keep myself from worrying. I'm really glad to have her be such a part of this, even if she is in Florida and I'm on the other end of the coast in Nova Scotia.

I've been revisiting some of my old favorites lately. I began by re-reading some of the books I've neglected in recent months. Like my Hitchhiker's and my Gunslinger series. That took all of a week. Even the pregnancy brain hasn't slowed my reading down any. But it was nice to revisit old friends like that. That's how I think of my books, old friends.

And I'm working on the baby blanket for a few hours every day. It's coming along nicely. The colors, a cream and a sea-green, look a lot better together than I thought they would. And I love the pattern, even if it is a little more complicated than I'm used to. Course it's my own fault it's so difficult. Being that I learned how to crochet the wrong way and have to do things backwards now to make things look right. Hehe.

I don't know if I'll finish before the baby is born, but I should get a good percentage done before then.

Well, I guess I've said enough for one post. I have so much I want to write about, but I really can't bring myself to do it because I'll just end up whining and I hate that. I've been doing far too much of that lately. And I refuse to subject the few constant readers I have to anymore of it. So if I fall back into it, leave me a message and I'll flay myself.